This Post Is Just A Waste Of Your Time

05 Apr

I have several things tumbling around in my noggin that I’d like to write about, but they require further (deeper) contemplation. I’m not in the mood, frankly, so I’m going to be silly again.

I read Julie and Julia again last week.  Despite the fairly-frequent foul language, I love the writer’s “voice”. I love how she jumps around in seeming randomness and then comes to a surprising point. I love the quirkiness of how she integrates childhood memories or stories from college days, as if something triggered that thought and she couldn’t continue on with what she was in the middle of saying until she fills you in on the details from the past. I love how she doesn’t take herself too seriously; if it’s a good story, it’s worth the embarrassment.

I had read Julie and Julia (which is about a year-long blogging project) when it first came out – long before I was a blogger. That “voice” resonated with me and inspired me and made me want to blog, too. But therein was the problem. Blogging was just becoming this big thing. It was a bandwagon, and I am not fond of jumping on those! I don’t do trends.

Fashion trends are the worst. If you see me wearing something trendy, I promise you it’s inadvertent! I simply do not understand the motivation to wear something because it’s trendy even if it doesn’t complement your face/shape/personality. If I have to wear low-rise jeans because that’s all I can find in the store, then you can be certain I’ll be wearing a long and bulky top in order to keep my wrap-around deck private. That flesh-toned inner-tube look is not attractive, no matter how trendy those jeans may be!

And my hair. I have curly hair now and I love it. I did not have big, curly hair when I was a child actually living in the eighties. But now that I’ve really got some oomph to play with, play I shall! I don’t care if straight and sleek is the in thing. I will rock these curls and you can’t stop me!

I am a fan of some trends: the ones I set and other people follow. What are some examples that fall into that category? Why, thank you for asking. Let me tell you. Ummm….approximately none. Apparently no one wants to do what I do. What’s with that?

I tried to start a new catch phrase. I have grown weary of adjectives that have been turned from a negative connotation into a positive one. That is sick, dude! Totally wicked!  Man, that is whacked! Etc, ad nauseum. So I figured the new word for expressing how great something is should be something that really is positive, and perhaps also subliminally encourages something healthy. Bro, that is so hydrated! I told my kids they should start saying that at school and soon the whole world would be saying it. They rolled their eyes at me. And I told them that kind of disrespect was completely dehydrated.  When this eventually catches on, you all have my permission to say you knew me when.

I resisted text lingo for a long time. I still have a flip-phone (bucking the technology trend as well), so when I text, I have to use the number pad and press each digit one, two, three, or four times until I get to the right letter. (Any readers out there who do not even believe that this technology ever existed, much less still exists today?) So the whole stickler-for-correct-spelling gene was getting very frustrated with the laborious task of texting and I finally succumbed to common texting short-forms. R u on ur way? C u 2nite. Im going 2 b L8. But one thing I just can’t bring myself to do is lol. Or any subsequent trendy forms of it. Can’t do it. They all make me cringe. So I decided to make up my own. COMSL (Choking On My Spit Laughing). I hereby invite you to get in on the ground floor with this. Use it. Pass it on. I don’t need any credit for it as it overtakes the world; it’ll be our little secret when it eventually makes its way into online dictionaries.

And now I’m a blogger, despite my best efforts to turn up my nose at the idea. And I owe my subscribers (all twenty of you) an apology. Not for this drivel (really, you should’ve known what you were getting yourselves into), but for the duplicate post last week. You see, when I started blogging, I didn’t follow all the conventional wisdom about how to be a successful blogger (if you’re surprised by that at all, I don’t even know what I’m going to do with you). There was all this stuff about adding tags and links and whatnot so that people beyond my own circle of friends could find my brilliant pieces of wit and wisdom. I didn’t do that. I wanted the safety of my own peeps being the only ones peeping inside my head. But last week I decided to start branching out a bit. And I inadvertently hit ‘re-publish’ instead of ‘edit’ when I tried to add some tags. Hence the email notice that there was a new post, when in fact it was just a duplicate of the previous post, and I immediately deleted it, but by then the email notices had already gone out. I’m so sorry for the confusion and the annoyance.

To recap, I really have nothing important to say and I have just wasted three minutes of your day (or ten seconds if you jumped to the bottom to see what my point was, which was pretty much nothing). And clearly you didn’t believe me. We’ll deal with that later. But now that I’ve sufficiently distracted myself for a bit, I can get back to work on a particularly deep and difficult section my book.

Oh! It’s lunch time! (COMSL)


Posted by on April 5, 2012 in Humour, Writing


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

5 responses to “This Post Is Just A Waste Of Your Time

  1. Shannon Smith

    April 5, 2012 at 2:05 PM

    Hi Anita,
    When I read your blog entries I can almost hear your voice telling me the story in your very animated way! I think it’s great that I know you well enough to know how you are expressing it, I can even tell at which points you’d be rolling your eyes COMSL!!!
    Shannon. 😉

  2. mel

    April 5, 2012 at 4:51 PM

    actually I am a speed reader so it was only like 90 secs…but still made me laugh!

  3. Clenize Amaral

    April 5, 2012 at 5:34 PM


  4. Kathleen Wells

    April 5, 2012 at 9:44 PM

    LOL!!!! COMSL

  5. Kathleen Wells

    April 5, 2012 at 9:44 PM

    HAPPY EASTER to you ALL!!!!!


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