Things I Had To Learn The Hard Way

16 Apr

I just came home from the dentist. While I was reclined, and trying to mentally escape the Jabbing Soft Flesh With Sharp Instruments, I came up with this list of things that I really should have known to be true without testing them. But at least now I have the experience to back it up.

1. Flossing matters. Even my dumbest readers (no, not you, of course!) can imagine how I came up with that one.

2.  Breastfeeding is not a reliable method of birth control. My babies were fourteen months apart. Whoopsy-daisy!

3. Hot ashes can still ignite, and therefore should not be disposed of in a composter. This advice is especially pertinent if your composter happens to be right beside your 100-year-old barn.

4. Somewhat related to #3, if you call 911 and need them to get to you really, really, really, really, really fast, just tell them your barn is on fire. ‘Nuf said.

5. I cannot be relied upon to remember that something is hidden in the oven before preheating said oven. Missed that story? Oh, it’s delightful. Click here:

6. Getting a tattoo hurts, but not as badly as giving birth or knocking your teeth out.

7. Eating half a dozen of Jaclyn’s maple tarts and vowing to exercise more next week doesn’t work. But they are so worth it. Seriously. Go here:

8. I apparently do have a squeamish bone in my body! I can kill a mouse with a flyswatter. I can decapitate a live cockroach with my thumbnail. I can squash a weird-looking African spider with the palm of my hand without skipping a beat in the conversation. I can find a grasshopper dining from my plate and keep eating. And I can wrap a 12-foot python around my neck. But that centipede on our bedroom ceiling? Um…Honey, I “can’t reach”.

9.  Nope. Can’t think of any more right now.

But I’m sure I’m not the only one who has learned something the hard way. Care to share?


Posted by on April 16, 2012 in Humour, Personal Growth


7 responses to “Things I Had To Learn The Hard Way

  1. Katie

    April 16, 2012 at 5:29 PM

    “If you are afraid of heights, and can’t see well without your glasses, then you shouldn’t use the high dive.”

    • Anita Neuman

      April 16, 2012 at 5:32 PM

      Seems like the perfect combination for using the high dive! 🙂

      • Sandy

        April 18, 2012 at 3:47 PM

        Anyone who doesn’t know the high diving board story needs to hear it……just sayin’. Something I’ve learned – it doesn’t feel like it while they are in the growing up phase, but kids really do grow up in the blink of an eye. I’m a Nana already, for pity’s sake. 🙂

  2. Katie

    April 16, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    The perfect combination for taking a really high fall… 🙂

  3. paulette

    April 16, 2012 at 10:03 PM

    Loved it Anita! Keep writing! Thanks for sharing!

  4. alittlewhit

    April 16, 2012 at 11:11 PM

    I’ve been thinking about this all day… and I’m concluding that I’m just too cautious.

  5. Jacquelyn Campbell

    April 17, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    That the only One Who can fill that aching loneliness in my being is Jesus Christ; and praise the Lord because He has and I have never been alone since.


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