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Things I Had To Learn The Hard Way

16 Apr

I just came home from the dentist. While I was reclined, and trying to mentally escape the Jabbing Soft Flesh With Sharp Instruments, I came up with this list of things that I really should have known to be true without testing them. But at least now I have the experience to back it up.

1. Flossing matters. Even my dumbest readers (no, not you, of course!) can imagine how I came up with that one.

2.  Breastfeeding is not a reliable method of birth control. My babies were fourteen months apart. Whoopsy-daisy!

3. Hot ashes can still ignite, and therefore should not be disposed of in a composter. This advice is especially pertinent if your composter happens to be right beside your 100-year-old barn.

4. Somewhat related to #3, if you call 911 and need them to get to you really, really, really, really, really fast, just tell them your barn is on fire. ‘Nuf said.

5. I cannot be relied upon to remember that something is hidden in the oven before preheating said oven. Missed that story? Oh, it’s delightful. Click here: https://ineedanewman.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/idontneedanewman/

6. Getting a tattoo hurts, but not as badly as giving birth or knocking your teeth out.

7. Eating half a dozen of Jaclyn’s maple tarts and vowing to exercise more next week doesn’t work. But they are so worth it. Seriously. Go here: http://jaclynslittlebakery.blogspot.ca/

8. I apparently do have a squeamish bone in my body! I can kill a mouse with a flyswatter. I can decapitate a live cockroach with my thumbnail. I can squash a weird-looking African spider with the palm of my hand without skipping a beat in the conversation. I can find a grasshopper dining from my plate and keep eating. And I can wrap a 12-foot python around my neck. But that centipede on our bedroom ceiling? Um…Honey, I “can’t reach”.

9.  Nope. Can’t think of any more right now.

But I’m sure I’m not the only one who has learned something the hard way. Care to share?

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7 Comments

Posted by on April 16, 2012 in Humour, Personal Growth

 

7 responses to “Things I Had To Learn The Hard Way

  1. Katie

    April 16, 2012 at 5:29 PM

    “If you are afraid of heights, and can’t see well without your glasses, then you shouldn’t use the high dive.”

     
    • Anita Neuman

      April 16, 2012 at 5:32 PM

      Seems like the perfect combination for using the high dive! 🙂

       
      • Sandy

        April 18, 2012 at 3:47 PM

        Anyone who doesn’t know the high diving board story needs to hear it……just sayin’. Something I’ve learned – it doesn’t feel like it while they are in the growing up phase, but kids really do grow up in the blink of an eye. I’m a Nana already, for pity’s sake. 🙂

         
  2. Katie

    April 16, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    The perfect combination for taking a really high fall… 🙂

     
  3. paulette

    April 16, 2012 at 10:03 PM

    Loved it Anita! Keep writing! Thanks for sharing!

     
  4. alittlewhit

    April 16, 2012 at 11:11 PM

    I’ve been thinking about this all day… and I’m concluding that I’m just too cautious.

     
  5. Jacquelyn Campbell

    April 17, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    That the only One Who can fill that aching loneliness in my being is Jesus Christ; and praise the Lord because He has and I have never been alone since.

     

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