10 Ways to be Ugly

10 Jul

We’ve talked about beauty before and it was suggested to me that I write a bit about inner beauty. I thought I’d start with inner ugliness. I’ve compiled a list of character traits that I find completely unattractive. And before you begin reading, I’d like to remind you that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So is ugliness. Therefore, I would suggest that you try to consider your actions through the eyes of the people around you, instead of just from your own perspective.

In no particular order, here are ten repulsive personality characteristics:

  1. Complaining. If you frequently feel the need to mention the negative things that you notice in everyday situations (poor service, someone’s annoying habits, the weather, traffic, and on and on and on), I hereby diagnose you with a complaining spirit. But take heart! There is a simple cure (simple in theory, but difficult in practice if you’ve borne this affliction deeply or for a long time): gratitude. You can combat those negative impulses by intentionally looking for things to be thankful for. Conscientiously state your gratitude and keep the complaint to yourself. Put some effort into it, and before you know it, it won’t require any effort at all.
  2. Manipulative. You may think you’re being sly and clever in how you always get people to do what you want, but you’re only fooling yourself. Others can see it, and it ain’t pretty.
  3. Conceited. If you think or act like you’re the very best at anything, you’re probably wrong. I’m pretty sure there’s always going to be someone hotter than you, someone more athletic than you, someone smarter than you, someone funnier than you. If you act like God has blessed the world with your presence, you should probably know that everyone is rolling their eyes behind your back. Work on some humility. And remember: humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s just thinking of yourself less.
  4. Excessively self-deprecatory. This is the pathetic flip side of the conceited coin. Constantly whining (or half-joking) about how ugly you are, how fat you are, how dumb you are, how WHATEVER you are, just makes people think of you being exactly that – even while they’re lying to you about how not like that you are. Compliment-fishing is the BO of personality traits.
  5. Know-it-all. You may be very smart. You may have good information to share or good advice to impart. But if you feel the need to open your mouth every single time there’s the slightest opportunity to divulge your wisdom, people will quickly stop listening to you. You invalidate your smarts simply by showing it off too often. If you’re really so clever, people will catch on and they will ask your opinion. Wait for it. And if they don’t ask, then it’s probably because they don’t actually want your opinion at that moment in time. So zip it.
  6. Laziness. No explanation needed there. Just get off your sorry backside and do something productive already.
  7. Martyr. This person may not be lazy, but they sure like to be all woe-is-me about every little thing they have to do because heaven knows no one else is going to do it. Please just put a smile on your face while you serve. It’s so much more attractive than the drawn out sighs and the “I suppose I’ll just have to do this thankless job. And this one. And this one. Don’t mind me.” If you’re really so concerned about working alone, you could just say to someone, “Hey, would you mind giving me a hand for a minute?” That would be much more effective.
  8. Dishonesty. I can’t believe people think they can get away with this. Integrity matters, my friends. It matters a lot. Being genuine is so much more attractive than trying to cover up, lie, and fake your way through life. And that’s the truth!
  9. Poor sport. This is more than just being an ungracious winner or a sore loser. It includes cheating. And playing up injuries or fouls just to gain sympathy or get your opponent in trouble. It means being disrespectful to the officials and the other team. It means hogging ball time. It means having a potty-mouth. All those things detract from the appeal that your athletic prowess might otherwise hold.
  10. Entitlement. Yeah, I know, somebody done you wrong at some point a long time ago and you haven’t been able to get over it. Well, guess what. Everybody has had to deal with crap. Everyone’s a victim. Some people just choose not to let it define them. You should be one of those people. The world does not owe you anything. Life does not owe you anything. God does not owe you anything. The people around you do not owe you anything. Suck it up. Move on. Choose joy.

Posted by on July 10, 2012 in Beauty, Personal Growth


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8 responses to “10 Ways to be Ugly

  1. Lesley Oakley

    July 10, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    Fabulous list Anita. I will be sharing with family and friends. I find your blog enlightening, hillarious, inspiring and a great way to take a break from work!

  2. Jacquelyn Campbell

    July 10, 2012 at 5:40 PM

    I’m really looking forward to hearing your post on things you find attractive. I’ve found there are some things about me that are unattractive. I think that being judgmental is unattractive, too. I find that I struggle with this one at times. I’m so glad that the Lord can take my ashes and give me a crown. I’m so glad that the Lord loves me as I am and is willing to change me into someone who is more beautiful.
    I like your new photo!

  3. Kathleen Wells

    July 10, 2012 at 10:05 PM

    Another great & thought provoking blog, Anita!! Thank you! God Bless! (& I’ll keep praying for ALL of you!) Would appreciate prayers for our “ministry” too!! Love you, Kathleen

  4. steph Mills

    July 10, 2012 at 10:18 PM

    I love this blog. I am very excited to hear what you have to say on inner beauty.

  5. Anne Hofer

    July 11, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    I think you are complaining….Not that I am. It just strikes me that way.

    • Anita Neuman

      July 11, 2012 at 1:01 PM

      Well, I certainly don’t claim to have mastered all of these things! I know there are areas where I need more work. 🙂

  6. Jane H.

    January 26, 2013 at 7:31 PM

    I have just been reading over the entries to your blog….I am so enjoying it. I love that you can speak the truth and yet insert a sense of humor. I know that the Lord wants us to smile, to laugh, and certainly He wants us not to take ourselves so very seriously. I am much older than you and I still struggle with some of these things…I think we are learning and growing our whole life long. How wonderful that our Savior wants to keep teaching us and molding us. When you get as old as I am, (64) you really want to be able to rely on that inner beauty because those saggy parts are really going south, the wrinkles are increasing daily, but inner beauty can give you the radiance that others see and find oh, so very attractive. I always think of Corrie tenBoom when I think of a beautiful woman of God….not beautiful in the world eyes, but oh so very beautiful when looking at her and seeing the beauty of Jesus Christ being shown to the world through her life.

    • Anita Neuman

      January 26, 2013 at 7:42 PM

      Thank you so much for your encouraging comments! And I totally agree with you – Corrie tenBoom is a GREAT example of a beautiful woman of God.


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