God Knows I Don’t Want To Know

25 Jan

Sometimes when people ask me how things are going, I’m not quite sure what they’re asking. Especially if they lean their head in a little bit and tilt it to one side and nod three times while they ask in a creepy-sensitive way, “So…how are things going?” Obviously the best thing for me to do is make a wild, all-encompassing assumption that they’re asking about the ongoing drama that is our family. You know, instead of looking like a total moron by asking a simple follow-up question.

To save us all some embarrassment (and to give me something to write about), I’ll answer that question for you here and now.

I think we’re doing okay. The last two and a half months have been stable. I kind of feel like there’s a possibility that we may be making incremental progress towards somewhat resembling a normal family. Ish. But even making such a bold proclamation as that makes me feel a little bit nauseous…like I’m invoking Murphy to swoop in and mess everything up with his law about making things go wrong. And I don’t even believe in Murphy!

Yes, things are okay right now. Permanently? I don’t know. It’s possible probable that life will get very difficult again at some point. But I don’t want to know about it.

Just like when my husband was over an hour late getting home from a meeting a few nights ago and I didn’t want to call his cell phone in case a paramedic answered. I didn’t want to know. In the meantime, I clung to my blissful ignorance and kept playing my Wii Wheel of Fortune game (which should be called “Wiil of Fortune” – why don’t people get my advice on these things beforehand?), cherishing it as possibly the last present my husband gave me before he died. I was able to focus and do what I needed to do in that moment – which was to win a $70,000 boat – because I didn’t actually know for sure that he was dead. And then he walked in the door and I was all, “Hey, how was your meeting?”

God knows I don’t want to know. If something awful is around the next bend, let me just not know about it until it hits me.

I usually like to know about the good stuff that’s coming, though. I am officially the world’s worst person to try to surprise. The only time I’ve ever been really and truly blown away by a sneaky, planned-out surprise was when I flew to New Brunswick to preach at my brother’s church (uh…I mean “be the guest speaker” because obviously a good Baptist girl such as myself would never sully a good Baptist pulpit by “preaching”) and my best friend, Shelby, drove up from Halifax to spend the weekend with me. Unfortunately, we stayed up all night talking instead of reviewing my “speaking” notes, so I was ill-prepared on Sunday morning and did a horrendous job, thereby completely cementing the idea that women don’t belong in a Baptist pulpit. And my point was…oh, right! It was an honest-to-goodness, jaw-dropping, cartoon-like double-take surprise and I was okay with that. I could get used to having fabulous surprises that I don’t actually know about ahead of time.

So maybe God has something great coming. Or maybe there’s more hard stuff. But guess what – I’m learning to trust that even the hard stuff has greatness in it because God is in it and He is great. I just don’t want to know about it yet.

And that is my assumptive answer to your vague question, which couldn’t possibly be referring to anything else because I didn’t even tell you that I burned my belly with a hot water bottle yesterday! So how could you be asking me about that? You mean my family. And we’re fine. Thank you for sort of asking.


Posted by on January 25, 2013 in God, parenting, Personal Growth, Uncategorized


25 responses to “God Knows I Don’t Want To Know

  1. Jacquelyn Campbell

    January 25, 2013 at 5:23 PM

    Now what are we going to talk about next week when you come over?

    • Anita Neuman

      January 25, 2013 at 5:33 PM

      Nothing. We’ll probably just sit and stare at each other, like always. 🙂

  2. Pauline

    January 25, 2013 at 6:45 PM

    I have the same ignorance is bliss policy when Ron is late!

    • Anita Neuman

      January 25, 2013 at 7:05 PM

      I’m sure they do the same when we’re late.


  3. dawnatoews

    January 25, 2013 at 6:58 PM

    You are SUCH a good writer Anita.

    Wiil of Fortune… Brilliant. They should DEFINITELY have consulted with you beforehand. 😉

  4. Kathleen Wells

    January 25, 2013 at 9:35 PM

    VERY glad to hear your family is doing fine!!! Love you!

  5. Kathleen Wells

    January 25, 2013 at 9:37 PM

    PS…hope your “burn” heals QUICKLY!!

  6. Tammy Bull

    January 25, 2013 at 10:55 PM

    Hot water bottle? Do I even want to know? At least Pat can apply the balm of Gilead, right?
    Oh, and you could have just come right out and told me that my head tilt and triple bob was creeping you out…
    I will think of new ways to creep you out in the future!

    • Anita Neuman

      January 26, 2013 at 7:38 AM

      Please. No one believes that you ask about anything subtly and discreetly when we’re together! “So, how are things going with the Tiramisu of Stupid?”

      • Tammy Bull

        February 4, 2013 at 7:17 PM

        Wait, I am totally confused!
        Who made Tiramisu and why didn’t I get any? Is that why you’re calling me Stupid?
        Oh, and why are you avoiding an answer on the ‘bottle-burn’ inquiry?

      • Anita

        February 4, 2013 at 7:49 PM

        Ha ha! You don’t even remember our conversation about the Tiramisu of Stupid??? So many layers of stupid… It’s okay. It’s probably better that you’ve blocked it out.
        And that silly burn. You wanna know? Fine. I had cramps, okay? I made the hot water bottle too hot and kept it on my belly too long. There. Happy now?

  7. Tammy Bull

    February 5, 2013 at 10:02 AM

    Yes, I am happy now!

  8. Jane H.

    February 10, 2013 at 2:04 PM

    Anita, I don’t know you personally, but have been following your blog for awhile now. You and I have similar senses of humor…not saying if that is good or bad…it just is, though I think it is good. I just wanted to tell you that for the past 3 days you have been on my heart for some reason…I do not know why, but I am praying for you and for your family. If there is a specific request, I’d be honored to pray specifically, but I just wanted to tell you that the Lord has laid you on the heart of this woman in Michigan who you don’t know, but who loves the Lord like you do and I’m praying for you. Blessings and Hugs…..Jane I thought….Anita will probably think I’m some kind of blog stalker writing her this, but I couldn’t settle down and go take my nap until I wrote you….

    • Anita Neuman

      February 10, 2013 at 2:31 PM

      Wow, Jane! Thank you so much! I don’t really have anything specific right now…at least nothing comes to mind that seems important enough for God to impress on the heart of a complete stranger to pray for me. But I really do appreciate the prayers. And if there’s something big coming our way and God is using you to intercede for us ahead of time, I am so grateful to you for hearing and heeding his voice.
      As to our similar senses of humour…of course it’s a good thing! You must be hilarious! 🙂

      • Jane H.

        February 10, 2013 at 2:44 PM

        Of course I’m hilarious. I will just keep praying for you and your family…..maybe there is nothing big…maybe God just wants me to pray for someone with that same sense of humor and see if I can figure it all out. Hugs.

      • Jane H.

        February 11, 2013 at 1:16 AM

        Well, Anita I will just keep lifting up your family, your church, your ministry, your blog ministry, your husband and your kids (guess that would be your family) Maybe there will not be any big thing and I usually think that’s a good thing….at least most of the time in my life, it’s good, but I’lll be praying so easy or difficult, just know you are being prayed for. Where do you live in Canada? Did you get this last big storm? My middle son and his family live in FL….we were planning on going there for the month of March. Now we are not so sure….it is expensive. But I’m still looking at tickets and if the Lord thinks we need a get a way, something will come along at a good price when we have the money for that good price in our pocket.. I don’t like being so far away from those two grandbabies. My 2 1/2 year old grandson and his mom live with us. She left an abusive marriage when he was 6 weeks old. He has brought us so much joy, but having our house turned back into a toddler home isn’t quite where we expected to be at this stage of life. I’m unable to keep my home as immaculate as it always was…..there’s the punchline.

        I think I’m finally getting sleepy, so off to bed with me.

      • Anita Neuman

        February 11, 2013 at 8:29 AM

        Thanks, my sweet new friend! We are in southern Ontario so yes, we did get this huge storm this weekend. Our oldest’s school is still closed today…oy.
        Where are you in Michigan? We lived in Novi for a year.

      • Jane H.

        February 11, 2013 at 12:20 PM

        Oh, we were neighbors then. We should have gone to 12 Oaks shopping. We live in Howell/Brighton area. I grew up in Brighton, but we moved to Howell about 15 years ago….still go to church in Brighton and it really seems more like home. Although they are only 10 minutes apart, so I guess I should make it sound like they are such separate communities. How did you happen to live in Novi? Do you have family in Michigan? There was no school anywhere around here today…I guess the back roads were bad. We got our little guy to day care though….he loves going. They are much peppier there than his grandma and poppy are. His mom is off tomorrow….she can run around with him.

      • Anita Neuman

        February 11, 2013 at 6:05 PM

        I shopped at 12 Oaks ALL THE TIME! No family around (we were there for my husband’s job), a newborn, post-partum depression, and then pregnant and sick…all I did was wander around 12 Oaks.

      • Jane H.

        February 12, 2013 at 12:23 AM

        Isn’t it interesting to look back and see what the Lord has brought us through. We lived in Ann Arbor when I was pregnant with my first son….I had a lot of depression, but wasn’t identifying it….it was a beastly hot summer and we used to go to Briarwood and wander around there shopping. Never had much money, but it was nice and cool. Well, if you get near Novi, we will go to lunch….deal?

      • Anita Neuman

        February 12, 2013 at 8:09 AM


      • janeh1037

        March 25, 2013 at 3:01 AM

        I haven’t forgotten you. I had some emergency surgery and was laid up for awhile. We were supposed to leave for FL to go see our kids on the 14 of this month and I ended up in er on the 11th and having surgery the 12 or 13 or something. I’m just thankful it didn’t happen after we got away from my doctors here. I’m doing all right now….they though it was a bowel obstruction and it turned out to be not that serious, but still was serious enough….an 8 inch incision. I’m so thankful for my husband, Nurse Rachett….I mean Pat. He takes good care of me. Today was the first day I was back at church and it was so good. But tonight, my incision started seeping and bleeding. I called the surgeon….he doesn’t think it is infected and neither do I,but I have to call in the morning and see if I have to go back in and see them again. Learning, learning, learning. How are you doing? What have you found out about your race? I will have to go back through my blogs and see what you have written. Anyway, I’m alive and well. Have a wonderful Easter and a Holy and meaningful Passion Week….I love this week of the year. Love to you……Jane

      • Anita Neuman

        March 25, 2013 at 8:07 AM

        Ack! Jane, what a mess you’ve been through. I do hope you’re healing well and get to take that trip to Florida soon.
        We didn’t make it on the race. Booooo. But oh well. Moving on to other things.
        So glad you checked in. Blessings to you and your family. Now go rest, heal, and no more internet at 3 in the morning!

  9. Jane H.

    February 12, 2013 at 8:48 AM

    Is your husband’s name Pat? Mine too….but my name is not Anita, my name is really Jane. I have 3 adult children (sometimes more adult than other), 2 sons and a daughter and 7 grandchildren. I wish I could go back and do my young mothering stuff again because I have so much more wisdom and not so much temper….was working a lot of stuff through back then. Thankful to be a more joyous, peaceful person for my grandkids. Of course, they are mostly perfect, so I don’t have to yell at them.


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