Just Sit Back and Relax

24 Jul

As one summer day bleeds into the next, the children are momentarily entertaining themselves with games such as “Who can jump from the highest branch onto the sprinkler-soaked trampoline?” I have firmly mandated that they shall hitch-hike to the hospital because I have long-since filled my daily quota of driving kids everywhere. Moments later, everyone is bored. And then begins the warring volume of various electronic devices. And fighting ensues. And everyone is hungry.

Sound familiar? Do you find yourself fantasizing about an emergency appendectomy simply because a few hours in the ER would be comparatively peaceful? Are you eagerly anticipating a root canal for the sheer rapture of drug-induced sleep? I have often joked about wishing I had two broken legs just so I could expediently deny any and every demand of me. (I’m not joking.) (Don’t worry; I really am joking.) (I’m really not.)

Well, friends, have I got a deal for you! I know a place where you can go, that’s filled with syrupy-sweet attendants catering to your every need. From the moment you walk in the door, they thank you for coming. They smile and inquire after your health and well-being. They offer you snacks and beverages. They hold your hand as you stretch out on a reclining chair. And they fuss over you with all the adoration of star-struck hero-worshippers.

It is everything you could ask of a one-hour respite, with the added bonus of actually being a life-saving contribution to society.

I’m talking about your local blood donor clinic.

I know a bunch of people who give blood regularly. I have always been very happy for them and their juicy, fat veins and fire-hose blood pressure. I recognize the importance of blood donation and am grateful for the people for whom blood donation is just easy.

And then stuff happened and the need for blood donors became more prominent and personal to me. And maybe, just maybe, more people should give…even those for whom it is not easy.

So off I went – low iron, low blood pressure, skinny veins and all. I have now donated twice so far in 2013 (with a failed attempt in between. Blasted iron deficiency.) And it is not fun. In fact, it hurts. It’s not supposed to hurt, and it probably doesn’t hurt most people, but for me, it hurts. However, as I am lying there hurting and woozily squeezing my heating pad, I am reminding myself that it only hurts me for 20 minutes or so. The people who get my blood are dealing with significantly worse pain than mine.

And during my July donation, I also revelled in the fact that the two screeching children in the waiting area were not mine. Three of my lovely cherubs were at home in front of the TV and the fourth was hopefully sleeping until noon. Bliss!

Canadian Blood Services has activated the ‘Blood Signal’, meaning the scheduled number of donors is not enough to meet the expected demand. Donation typically drops off during the summer months because people are busy with family and vacations and they just don’t take the time to go in. That is somewhat understandable, albeit disappointing. But here’s the crazy thing: only 3.5% of eligible Canadians donate blood.

Let’s change that!

I hereby challenge you to get out there and donate. Call 1-800-2DONATE to book an appointment, or go to to find a clinic near you. They take walk-ins! And I’m telling you, you should enjoy this opportunity for a lovely little donation vacation all by yourself! I have my next appointment booked, and I’m actively working to make sure my iron levels are high enough by then (even though I am afraid I will never poop again).


Posted by on July 24, 2013 in Humour, Personal Growth


Tags: ,

5 responses to “Just Sit Back and Relax

  1. Heidi

    July 24, 2013 at 7:49 PM

    Well said. I have given blood in the past and haven’t for some time. I will try to do so soon. Wait. I can hear you saying, “DO or DO NOT; there is no TRY!” So I will go and make an appointment now. Thanks for the push.

  2. Tammy Bull

    July 24, 2013 at 9:04 PM

    Yay for Anita!
    Yay for Heidi!
    Yay for me!
    That’s right, yay for me!
    Because I swelled and bruised for 4 weeks after my last donation (a first for me as I have given for years with no pain or side effects) and I am still going again… I am not brave, I am not selfless, I just know it is the right thing for me to do, because I can.

    • Anita Neuman

      July 24, 2013 at 9:08 PM

      Yay for you, indeed! It is the right thing to do. And we can do it!

  3. Jcm Manuel

    August 7, 2013 at 1:57 AM

    I can only – as you said in reply to my comment yesterday – shake my head and enjoy this one, again. Not that I wanted an overdose of Anita-Funbeams (not after yesterdays read which had my sapiential battery charged for at least one month in advance) but you know, just this curiosity about the wonders and bliss of a funny soul. No it’s not particularly related to using the poop word although that’s definitely one heck of a HQ bonus (nothing beats a good shit as Shakespeare already said) – it’s the whole spectrum of colours, really.

    From driving kids quota over ER sit-back time up to – yes – the once in a while emergency supply word “poop”, it is all joy and of course the almost unconsciously planted seeds that WILL (perhaps) (certainly) (maybe) remote-control me to the place where I can release properly ferrum-enriched body fluid straight from the fire-hose. But there better be those syrupy-sweet attendants, as you promised. I have expectations about ER vacations now. Or what would be the alternative if these fairies aren’t really there when I visit? Should we just lay down there like a lonely hose, and think of you instead while we’re being drained?


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