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When Storms Like The Sea Billows Roll

11 Jan

I have a lot of roles. So do you, I’m sure. Let’s list a few. For me, there’s wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt. There are a bunch of work titles. There are friendship roles that I fill. There are different things I do in my church community. And the list goes on.

Then there are the roles within roles. Let’s look at “mom”. Under that heading, I am menu-planner, grocery-shopper, cook, dishwasher, laundress, chauffeur, teacher, disciplinarian, drill sergeant, time-keeper, seamstress, personal shopper, hair stylist, cleaning lady…

I could break it down even further. I make fantastic bread. I can do amazing braids. I am the best at digging out slivers. And ain’t nobody organize a carpool like this mama!15713335_10154671530175351_137902662_n

But all of those roles aren’t applicable all the time. Nobody cares that I can make fantastic bread, unless of course, one of my cherubs offers to bring homemade bread to a school function – which is, to date, I think…never.

But should the need arise, I am the mom for the job!

Allow me to draw a comparison now to all the names and roles of God. Have you ever read a list of His names and attributes and kind of glossed over? Sure, some of them are relatable all the time, but others just seem like nice, random ideas.

Until a need arises.

This Christmas was all about “Emmanuel” for me. As I briefly outlined in my previous post, we’ve been dealing with an attack on our home. Now that the court process is finished and there’s no more “alleged” attached to the perpetrator, I am free to say that it was our son. (You may have figured that out, since I categorized the post under “adoption”. Was that cheeky of me?)

With all the questions about security and what attacks might still be coming, “Emmanuel, God With Us” has been more meaningful to me than ever before. I have always known that He is with me, and I have always had an appreciation for what that name meant to the Jews of the day. But over the past few weeks, the meditation of my heart has been “God with us.” GOD with us. God WITH us. God with US.

Another God-role that has brought me much peace during this time is the concept of Jesus as mediator and God as judge. Let me fill you in on more of the story.

There were numerous charges against our son, accumulated over the course of several weeks. Because our justice system isn’t perfect, we ran into a bit of a snafu with Victim Services. (Yes, I know what snafu means, Mom, but that’s exactly what I mean to say.) The two most serious charges against our son were dropped. That means, as far as all the records are concerned, Mischief Over $5000 and Unlawful Entry never happened – even though we’re still living in a cold, dark, drafty, boarded-up house.

I confess, I had a full day of feeling very bitter and angry towards our Victim Services representative and the prosecutor. They were supposed to speak for us, represent us, advocate for us. And they hung us out to dry. My heart screamed, “Isn’t there anyone who is FOR US?”

And the answer came immediately. “I AM.”

The picture of Jesus Christ as advocate was brilliantly clear in my mind. Again, there has always been a knowledge of Him advocating on my behalf, presenting me as pure and faultless because of His sacrifice, to God the Father and ultimate judge. That picture pertains to my own sin being washed away. But this new picture, with the issue being someone else’s sin against me, showed me so clearly that He is still advocating on my behalf. And I can fully trust the dichotomy of mercy and justice in the hands of our Judge.

These human advocates screwed up (from my perspective) and this human judge acted on incomplete information. But my Jesus advocate doesn’t say, “Meh. Oh well,” about overlooked paperwork. And my Almighty God judge knows all the details anyway.

Our house is still cold and dark and I can’t do anything about that. Our son is free to live his life as if none of this happened, and I can’t do anything about that either. What I can do is intentionally focus my heart and mind on the character of God – on His presence with me through all of it and His capability as advocate and judge.

And I can also make myself some fantastic bread.

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3 Comments

Posted by on January 11, 2017 in Adoption, God, Personal Growth, Recipes

 

3 responses to “When Storms Like The Sea Billows Roll

  1. Mel

    January 11, 2017 at 12:29 PM

    Well, welcome to our own broken justice system….which I have heard a lot about in the past years from a reliable source. I like how your blog ends on such a positive note though, and the fullness of hope and contentment in Gods provision and care for us. This morning I was stressing about something and Philippians 4:6-7 came to me once again. Interesting that we are to be THANKFUL first!
    Another verse I read yesterday reminded me that revenge is NOT ours….it’s our human nature to right our wrongs…but God has promised to look after that for us too. Thanks Anita for your honest outlook on daily life….and can I have some bread please????.

     
  2. Lorey Mills

    January 11, 2017 at 1:21 PM

    I am so sorry you have had to go through all this. Then in the end the justice system has failed on accountability. Once again they seem to be enablers instead of inhibitors.
    I hate most of all that your safe place to fall is cold and dark at the moment due to the situation. I love your solution! setting your mind and heart on the character of God.

     
  3. Maureen Fowler

    January 11, 2017 at 5:15 PM

    What a strong reminder to me , to resist focusing on the situations around me that I’d gladly make change if I could. It’s easier to waste time wishing and resenting than it is to draw near to the God of Being With Me….and trusting Him more. I am thankful for you Anita, and your courage to share this ugly, flawed process. God is glorified through your choices, and I am encouraged. I will think of you next time I make bread too!

     

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